Why can't he remember?
by fallingstar22
Summary: Jo is having a hard time in the new timeline... without Zane. But after their kiss her world is turned upside down and she realizes one more time how much she misses him. And she never felt so alone... ever. set after 4.09


I know, the title isn't exactly right, as the new-timeline Zane can't have any memories of their past. But seen through Jo's eyes, I think it somehow fits.

There will be appearing lines from "All I need" by "Within Temptation"...

…..

I neither own the characters nor the song!

Only the story(-&idea) is mine ;)

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><p><strong>Why can't he remember?<strong>

**By fallingstar22**

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><p>One moment it had all been so good. So simple. So easy.<p>

They had been together, had been happy.

Then he had asked her the question she would have never expected anyone to ask her…

…if she wanted to marry him.

Why had she been frozen? Why hadn't she been able to say what had been on her heart?

Just a simple yes, a simple kiss…but it hadn't been that simple.

And the pain he must have felt these seconds… she felt it by now. Because everything had turned around.

_I'm dying to catch my breath  
>Oh why don't I ever learn?<br>I've lost all my trust,  
>though I've surely tried to turn it around<em>

Just one single second had changed it all. Turned everything upside down.

Now everything was hard. It felt like dying, to be alone, to be without him.

He, who had brightened her days. Who had managed to make her smile.

Now everything was gone. He didn't remember.

Though being the same guy, he didn't feel it anymore… never felt it, in this world.

How cruel had she been that he didn't like her in this universe?

She had tried to awake the feelings in him, being nice, smiling at him. But he had turned her down. Each try. So she had given up. She had lost her trust, her faith, that she could change everything back.

Maybe that was the prize for not learning… not learning how to say _yes_ to a simple question.

_Can you still see the heart of me?  
>All my agony fades away<br>when you hold me in your embrace_

But when she looked at him, why couldn't he see the pain?

Glittering in her eyes, searching for him… but never finding him.

When he made jokes and silly comments in this reality, she couldn't be mad at him.

Everything he did, everything he said would be forgotten… if he only remembered.

If he took her in his arms, telling her everything would be alright.

But it never happened.

_Don't tear me down for all I need  
>Make my heart a better place<br>Give me something I can believe  
>Don't tear me down<br>You've opened the door now, don't let it close_

Each day passing made it harder. More difficult. So hard to live on… without him.

Why couldn't she just hide away?

Just Why?

She had to stay strong, but how? Each time she saw him… everything came back.

All the pictures… all the emotions… unanswered by him.

Her heart sought for signs hoping to become a better place once again.

Just something to believe, to hold on.

But it never happened.

Until that day.

She had given him back the engagement ring, as she couldn't bear it anymore. Trying to get a hold of her feelings. But he hadn't been a hallucination, like she had expected. It had been the real him...

Since then he had wanted to find everything out and he wouldn't give up. He had begun to see her and the other time-travelers through different eyes. Trying to find the reasons for their behaviors.

_His question: "Tell me what we were to each other." _

_Her answer: "Nothing."_

Then they had been standing there. She had wanted to turn away, but he had grabbed a hold of her and had kissed her. It had felt so sweet, so familiar. Everything had come up and she hadn't been able to hold back her emotions.

He must have felt it, too, asking her half-knowing that that couldn't have been their first kiss.

But then they broke apart. He left with the other girl.

Leaving her there again.

Hurt.

Broken.

All emotions crushing down on her.

Making her weak.

With that kiss he had opened the door, and left it wide open…

But not entering it.

He had gone away with her, the other girl… closing the door.

Leaving all her prayers, her hope, and her wishes unanswered.

_I'm here on the edge again  
>I wish I could let it go<br>I know that I'm only one step away  
>from turning it around<em>

Why couldn't she forget it? Why couldn't she hide her feelings away?

Why couldn't she turn her back and walk away?

But she was standing there again, on the edge… on the edge of breaking apart.

Not far away of having a break down.

_Can you still see the heart of me?  
>All my agony fades away<br>when you hold me in your embrace_

But she couldn't blame him.

As he never knew, how could she blame him? The man she loved.

So the anger wasn't anymore and left just the pain.

Pain that would be so easy to go away, if he only remembered.

Remembered to hold her in his embrace.

_Don't tear me down for all I need  
>Make my heart a better place<br>Give me something I can believe_

But nothing was left for her to hope.

Nothing left to believe.

_Don't tear it down, what's left of me  
>Make my heart a better place<em>

Just her being turned down.

All that was left of her former stronger self. Everything torn down.

Nothing to be seen anymore.

How would her heart ever become a better place?

_I tried many times but nothing was real  
>Make it fade away, don't break me down<br>I want to believe that this is for real  
>Save me from my fear<br>Don't tear me down_

She had tried to ignore the pain.

Hoping it would fade away.

But when he called her again _Jojo_ it seemed real for a second.

Something she wanted to believe on – like a sign for him remembering.

But it was hardly to believe.

Everything was gone.

Each second hurt. Each minute …each hour…each day… each week.

Everything pain.

Pain when she looked at him and he looked back, not remembering, not noticing.

Pain when she wished he would be with her, holding her …and then turning around to see him holding someone else.

Talking to him, words being said, words being heard and sounding so emotionless.

_Don't tear me down for all I need  
>Make my heart a better place<br>Don't tear me down for all I need  
>Make my heart a better place<em>

_Give me something I can believe  
>Don't tear it down, what's left of me<br>Make my heart a better place  
>Make my heart a better place<em>

But it would never be the same.

It would never be like it had been.

Her heart would never become a better place.

She would stay alone. Feeling the pain forever. Not understanding, why it had happened. Why he couldn't safe her.

And all she just needed and would never get was him.

And all she had but didn't need were tears, running down her cheeks, unseen.

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><p>Please review!<p>

Just a few words telling me if you liked it, or not!


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